I have a business colleague who judges everyone else according to his own strengths. When people don\u2019t measure up to his standard of strengths, they are dismissed as inadequate and unworthy of his business respect. Since his particular strengths are in the area of technology, I often fall short, in his view,\u00a0 of being the full measure of the man I should be.<\/p>\n

After feeling the sting of this judgment a few times, I found myself getting fairly irritated in his company on every occasion. I found myself going into each encounter with a ready quip or two prepared to put him on the defensive by pointing out some of the shortcomings he might be overlooking. However, in a moment of clarity I realized, I am him; I have been that kind of person too. And is my heart of hearts, I still am.<\/p>\n

I my heart, I have harshly judged people for how they choose to eat, spend their money, and spend their time. On many of those occasions, I have made comments that reflected my judgments in a way that stressed the relationship. Enough of those stress fractures and the relationship will be damaged beyond repair.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not saying that we should not exercise our judgment \u2013 there\u2019s far too little good judgment being used. What I am suggesting is that we decide how our particular insights can be of value rather than be demeaning.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t believe that because I\u2019ve not utilized technology to push my LinkedIn connections to 500+ makes me an unthoughtful person. Or that my phone, laptop and desktop are not perfectly synced with identical folders and using automatic smart-mailbox routing so that I have every contact\u2019s complete information at my fingertips at all times is the strongest indication that I don\u2019t care about other people.<\/p>\n

I desperately need to make improvements in all areas of life involving technology. I have a lot of improvements to make in other areas as well. What I need is guidance. And encouragement. And support.<\/p>\n

But derision causes defensiveness to rise up. Emotional barriers get built. Connection is lost, perhaps permanently.<\/p>\n

Again, discernment is a very good and important quality to possess. What is even more important though is the end to which it\u2019s used.<\/p>\n

When we discover a weakness in a colleague or friend, do we merely point it out or possibly exploit it? Or do we use the knowledge as a means of building a bridge or a connection? As a means of building that person up?<\/p>\n

By being more supportive of others growth, is it possible that we might become more open to others supporting our growth as well?<\/p>\n

Charles<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have a business colleague who judges everyone else according to his own strengths. When people don\u2019t measure up to his standard of strengths, they are dismissed as inadequate and unworthy of his business respect. Since his particular strengths are in the area of technology, I often fall short, in his view,\u00a0 of being the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3,17],"tags":[36,59,61,102,129,135,141],"class_list":{"0":"post-355","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-attitude","7":"category-relationships","8":"tag-attitude","9":"tag-discernment","10":"tag-emotions","11":"tag-listening","12":"tag-relationships","13":"tag-social-media","14":"tag-technology","15":"entry"},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\n