Charles Gupton

Thinking

Mindfully Mindlessly Happy

Not all happiness is bliss. Or thoughtful. Or purposeful.

A lot of what I see defined as happiness in people is really mindlessness. Although that seems harsh, I’m often envious of the ability of some to go along without the nagging questions of purpose and objectives holding forth with each decision on the journey. These questions add weight and limitations.

But carrying these questions are like packing food and water on a hike into the wilderness. Although they create limitations that weigh you down, they also allow the freedom to go deeper into the unknown with confidence while you explore. Mindless “happies” are less burdened but never appear to know the joy that comes with exploring anything with depth.

What I’m looking for, and increasingly giving myself permission to do, is to not have to pursue every endeavor deeply. To allow myself the giddy pleasure of surfing a subject on the surface for no purpose other than the momentary pleasure. It’s like taking a bite out of every dish or dessert on the pot-luck table with no thought of calories consumed or nourishment received. Just allowing myself the pleasure of taking a bit or two from whatever I fancy with no further commitment to the dish. Or the preparer.

The trouble with mindfulness is that it doesn’t have a switch (that I’ve found). The solution I’m working towards — to be oxymoronic — is to practice being mindfully mindless for short periods of time so that my mind can rest. To simply breathe deep and allow myself to be happy without thinking or purpose. Just simply to be. Happy.

Charles

Examine Your Personal Story at Work

We all carry our personal baggage to work.

Everything we do and every decision we make is based on an emotional load we’re carrying around. You may not see your baggage — or realize the weight others are carrying — but it’s there.

Over the last few years, I’ve come to a huge understanding. When it occurred to me, I thought of it as a “duh, of course!” moment. But I soon realized it held much larger implications for me and the people I work with.

If you have trouble managing money at home? Expect it to show up in your business. Have difficulty trusting men in your personal affairs? It’s going to surface in the office. Struggle with setting boundaries with family members? See if those same issues are popping up in meetings at work.

That insight has caused me to look at the conversations I have with others and even their social media posts as important indicators of what to be aware of in business settings where that person is involved.

During a discussion last year with the founder of an investment firm about photographs for their marketing materials, he insisted on a transfer of copyright. With a little poking around, I discovered he held a number of beliefs about not trusting other people and the need to maintain absolute control over others. Not a person I wanted to make a business investment with.

I’ve also realized that people who quickly bring up their lack of budget and/or spend a lot of effort to beat suppliers down on price usually have low self esteem and are usually under-earners who don’t feel valued themselves.

I believe it’s impossible to consistently make and live with business decisions that are outside of one’s personal values and beliefs. When people are abundant in their personal outlooks, it will surface in in all their decisions. If, on the other hand, fear and scarcity rule their thoughts, no professional veneer will shift their business behavior.

And what’s true for others is true for you as well.

Charles

A Happiness Built on Joy

I work under the illusion every day that I can accomplish more than I can. One benefit is that I actually get a fair number of things done over time. A downside is that I’m seldom satisfied with what I did get done, often focusing my discontent on the remaining items from the list which didn’t get completed. But hope frequently deceives me into believing that the next day will be different than all those that have come before.

Although constant driving and striving lead to many tasks getting done, the overall tenor of the journey is seldom happiness. I wrote one morning a few months back that I want my life to be one of “chronic joy” with bouts of “acute happiness.”

That simple revelation has caused me to focus on my consistent state of mind and question how the activities and people I engage with affect my state of mind during and after my involvement with them. Is my mindset one of joyful abundance or fear and security?

The difference between joy and happiness is that I see joy as being about my state of mind while happiness tends to be affected by the circumstances I’m in or believe I’m in.

Happiness is built on a foundation of joy. Not the other way around. I can be joyful even when I’m not pleased with the circumstances that surround me. But I can never be happy with my circumstances when my heart and mind are focused on scarcity.

The interesting revelation for me is that my joy is more constant or “chronic” when I allow myself time in each day for the abundance which comes from overall balance in my day. Joy doesn’t come from how many items got checked off my list but whether the overall approach was balanced with healthy, important activities. A mindful approach to quality vs. quantity of things done.

Charles

Where’s Your Heart?

I think I should watch more tennis on TV. Although I seldom allow myself the time to watch the sport I most enjoy, I’m always charged up afterwards.

I only watched two matches from the recent Wimbledon tournament – the quarterfinals match between Roger Federer and Jo-Wilfred Tsonga and the finals match between Novak Djokovic and Rafael Nadal. In both encounters, not only did the underdog win, but I believe he also stunned the expected winner.

The first reason for the underdog’s success was conditioning, both physical and mental. In the Federer/Tsonga match, Federer won the first two sets (out of the best of five). He went into the match with a 178-0 record against opponents after taking the first two sets. The odds were certainly in his favor and I think he expected Tsonga to know this and give up.

The second reason that the underdogs won was attitude, or heart. Tsonga wouldn’t give up. He ran down every shot and hit amazing returns time and again. He never showed any sign of mental or physical weakness. I believe Federer was caught resting on his accomplishments and expecting his opponent to respectfully give up.

Are you willing to run all out?

In the finals, I saw the same traits in a different order. Djokovic stepped on the court to win and dominated the first two sets. When his focus blurred in the third set, Nadal seized on the lapse and won the set. A visibly shaken Djokovic recovered his mojo in the fourth set to win.

So what?

The reason I care is that I know a number of photographers, designers and myriad business people who were once at the top of their game. Not only were they winning nearly all the business that came their way, but they also captured most of the awards their industry handed out.

Then change happened. Younger players, or possibly new players displaced from another career, entered the game and caused disruptions in the rankings. The established players wanted to coast. They didn’t want to learn new technology or develop better mental, and often physical, conditioning. They wanted their achievements to be respected.

But new players want a piece of the glory. They’re often willing to work harder and smarter. They read blogs, leverage social media and go to more networking opportunities. When it comes to the crunch time, they often show more “heart.” When they do, they often win. Established players often have the attitude that younger players should wait and “pay their dues.” But players – young and old – with heart, play to win.

Where are you in your game? What are you doing to develop your conditioning? And your attitude?

Charles

Enough Talking Already, Do the Work!

My mind is on the creative process a lot as I move through my day. As an artist, I am constantly battling with where to allocate the time for creative thinking, planning and the execution of my projects.

There are a number of titles that I’ve heard for the small business owner, including owner-operator or solopreneur. The title I’ve given myself is artist-operator because, even though I am an artist first, it’s the process of operations and sales that moves a business forward and gives a hope of being profitable. The corollary is that the operation of a business can easily overwhelm the time and space for creative work to be conceived and brought to life.

I talk with a number of creative people on a regular basis who are, in various ways, waiting for the creative “muse” to arrive and create that space in time for them, or they expect the “muse” to meet them on their journey and inspire them to produce.

I have found that the “muse” doesn’t sit and wait.  Nor does it come to find us. The “muse” must be sought.

Even knowing this, I found myself grumbling recently about a self-directed project that had stalled because I was spending so much time and thought on the operations and sales processes. And then the “muse” spoke. It said, “Shut-up with the talking and come find me.” The moment I started working on the “doing” of the project rather than the “talking” about the work, the muse met me and the project was completed within days.
Julia Cameron, in her book “The Artist’s Way,” talks about the need to show up at the page. Good writing doesn’t get written unless the writer shows up at the page and writes anymore than a structure gets built without the builder showing up and building.

Are you showing up to do your work or waiting for the “muse” to find you and bring the work along?

Charles