Charles Gupton

Attitude

Launch and Learn

The last year or so has been a particularly exciting and, at the same time, particularly scary time.

As I look back, the last ten years or so – since 9/11 – have been an ever-changing mix of scary and exciting for us. When the communications world seemed to stop spinning with assignments, Linda and I took an informal sabbatical from actively chasing communications projects while we were pursuing some other directions for a time, including starting a sustainable farming operation and retreat center.

As we returned to the communications front lines, we were aware that the technology environment had made sweeping changes and that I, especially, would have to climb a steep learning cliff to catch up. There have been more slips and falls than I can count, but I believe I’ve caught up and have been running along quite proficiently for a while now. Until this past year.

After dipping my toes in the waters of multimedia for a couple of years, I decided to take a leap into the deep current and see if I could swim. In my experience, and from numerous conversations with peers, I’d realized that shooting a project in motion is exponentially more challenging than to do so in stills.

With age, I’ve come to realize that I can’t possibly learn all I want to about everything I want to. If I can’t learn it all, I certainly can’t do it all. So I turned over the audio production and the post-editing responsibilities to my assistant while Linda took over the producer’s role, leaving me to concentrate on filming, directing, and client engagement.

When my assistant bailed two days before a critical project, my choked-backed fears of relying on other people shot to the surface and I realized that I couldn’t reliably deliver unless I could handle every aspect of my productions as insurance against being caught unprepared on location. Although panic-induced adrenaline became my elixir for the week, it was the jolt I needed to get me up to speed in short order.

The excitement came when I realized that I had the foundational skills to start really building a new career direction. I also knew enough to make better hiring decisions about who I need and what skills are necessary when I call in support crew on a particular project.

My greatest “ah-ha” has been to re-discover that launching new projects with the focus on deep-learning of new skills is the best way to grow both knowledge and passion. Every project I initiate has at least one or two high bars that I hope to clear with perfect form and agile grace. And with every project, I fall short of my perfection.

My human propensity is to build my confidence first by gathering knowledge before venturing forth on any endeavor. But what I’ve learned, and will continue to learn, is that the most important thing I will always do is launch, fail, learn, repeat. The best knowledge comes in the doing.

Charles

Examine Your Personal Story at Work

We all carry our personal baggage to work.

Everything we do and every decision we make is based on an emotional load we’re carrying around. You may not see your baggage — or realize the weight others are carrying — but it’s there.

Over the last few years, I’ve come to a huge understanding. When it occurred to me, I thought of it as a “duh, of course!” moment. But I soon realized it held much larger implications for me and the people I work with.

If you have trouble managing money at home? Expect it to show up in your business. Have difficulty trusting men in your personal affairs? It’s going to surface in the office. Struggle with setting boundaries with family members? See if those same issues are popping up in meetings at work.

That insight has caused me to look at the conversations I have with others and even their social media posts as important indicators of what to be aware of in business settings where that person is involved.

During a discussion last year with the founder of an investment firm about photographs for their marketing materials, he insisted on a transfer of copyright. With a little poking around, I discovered he held a number of beliefs about not trusting other people and the need to maintain absolute control over others. Not a person I wanted to make a business investment with.

I’ve also realized that people who quickly bring up their lack of budget and/or spend a lot of effort to beat suppliers down on price usually have low self esteem and are usually under-earners who don’t feel valued themselves.

I believe it’s impossible to consistently make and live with business decisions that are outside of one’s personal values and beliefs. When people are abundant in their personal outlooks, it will surface in in all their decisions. If, on the other hand, fear and scarcity rule their thoughts, no professional veneer will shift their business behavior.

And what’s true for others is true for you as well.

Charles

How Happy is Your Story?

The starting point for happiness is a decision. Abe Lincoln is quoted as saying, “A man is about as happy as he makes up his mind to be.”

When I catch myself dwelling on situations in our lives that are stressful — situations that I can do very little, if anything, about — my attitude and spirit tend to plummet. That’s not surprising. What is surprising, if not alarming, is that I understand that I am making the choice to dwell on something that is outside of my control. As a result, I’m making the choice to allow my spirit to flag. These are not outside influences. It is internal, In my own mind.

I know through established research and my own experience that choosing to focus on situations that are within my influence, if not my control, is a path of far more contentment.

So much of our story, both personal and business, is shaped by the stories we create in our minds. When the stories are stressful, our lives appear to us as spinning out of control. When we focus on situations that are in our influence and take the necessary actions to affect them, I find that we are far more content and happy.

The decision has been to either allow the loop of fear to run or to stop it and start playing the loop of possibility and hope. Either way, I’m about as happy as I’ve decided I want to be.

And you?

Charles

A Happiness Built on Joy

I work under the illusion every day that I can accomplish more than I can. One benefit is that I actually get a fair number of things done over time. A downside is that I’m seldom satisfied with what I did get done, often focusing my discontent on the remaining items from the list which didn’t get completed. But hope frequently deceives me into believing that the next day will be different than all those that have come before.

Although constant driving and striving lead to many tasks getting done, the overall tenor of the journey is seldom happiness. I wrote one morning a few months back that I want my life to be one of “chronic joy” with bouts of “acute happiness.”

That simple revelation has caused me to focus on my consistent state of mind and question how the activities and people I engage with affect my state of mind during and after my involvement with them. Is my mindset one of joyful abundance or fear and security?

The difference between joy and happiness is that I see joy as being about my state of mind while happiness tends to be affected by the circumstances I’m in or believe I’m in.

Happiness is built on a foundation of joy. Not the other way around. I can be joyful even when I’m not pleased with the circumstances that surround me. But I can never be happy with my circumstances when my heart and mind are focused on scarcity.

The interesting revelation for me is that my joy is more constant or “chronic” when I allow myself time in each day for the abundance which comes from overall balance in my day. Joy doesn’t come from how many items got checked off my list but whether the overall approach was balanced with healthy, important activities. A mindful approach to quality vs. quantity of things done.

Charles

Wanna Change Minds? Create a New Story.

“In your zeal to persuade, you will stifle the voice of the other side. Misusing art to preach, your story will become a thinly discussed sermon as you strive in a single stroke to convert the world. – Robert McKee in “Story.

I believe the raw emotional desire of many people to be a part of something bigger than themselves overshadows their effectiveness in having a significant impact on things that have meaning to them.

The issue of same-sex marriage is one that is already polarizing and will only become more so. An interesting point to me is the number of people I know who don’t have a dog in the fight, per say — they’re in a heterosexual marriage with minimal contact with homosexuals — but see the debate as an issue of justice and have decided to take a stand.

I know equally committed people who believe that the sanctity of one man/one woman is the only foundation of marriage. Their concern is not only for loosening the definition of marriage. Many people believe that increasing tolerance for homosexuality also allows increasing acceptance of multiple-spouse marriages, sexual relationships between adults and children, and bestiality.

As I listen to many people present their reasoning for their point of view, not only do they believe their side is right, but they are so entrenched and immovable that no common ground can be established or tolerated. The image in my mind is from WWI battlefield scenes in which the enemies are dug in for the long fight. The ground between them is a no-man’s land strewn with barbed wire and casualties of battle.

I am strongly opinionated and have jumped into far more fights than I care to remember. Several have been life-altering and broken close friendships which have never healed. Looking back on the battles, a few of my views have not changed much. But the a majority of them have. If I were in politics, you would definitely call me a “flip flopper.” I call it growth. Maturity. Wisdom.

Using story is more effective in changing others' points of view than being more dogmatic about your own.

Time and experience have a way of filing off the sharp points. They may not alter the core make-up of our being, but like water constantly flowing over granite, we smooth out little by little over time.

Intransigence has its value. There are absolutes we should be willing to be bound by.

My issue is not with the inherent truths we believe. My concern is whether I am, and you are, actually making an impact or just making noise. Use your power to create useful electricity, not more static.

Whether two sides are firing mortars or insults, neither is affecting the change they want to see. When each side’s primary dogma is to undermine the enemy’s dogma, very little gets accomplished.

I deeply believe the human heart is called to be out of itself, to a purpose far bigger and more expansive than it can achieve on its own. To reach that purpose, it must develop the capacity to listen.

Blasting someone with your “facts” and your opinion won’t change their views. The only way to affect others’ views is to change the way they see themselves in their larger stories. To do that, you need to understand where they fit in their own story.

You have a decision to make. Do you want to continue with your emotional screed or do you want to be effective, to have an impact on changing the story? You can’t do both.

Charles