Charles Gupton

Attitude

Don’t Over-Complicate a Simple Thing

 

It was a simple thing, really.

Buy some coffee and freely offer it to people standing in line for an event. Just say “Good morning,” exchange a few pleasantries, and move up the line.

But it was more than that. But not that much more.

Tim Weston Serving Others
Tim Weston Serving Others

I met Tim Weston as I was waiting to go into the auditorium for the second day of the 2015 World Domination Summit. He was walking up the line of attendees who were queued up, waiting for the doors to open.

Throughout its five-year history, the staff of WDS is legendary for providing unexpected surprises and comforts for those in attendance. But I noticed that Tim was wearing the blue name badge of an attendee and not the orange badge of a volunteer. It was not Tim’s job as a volunteer host to create an exceptional experience for the attendees in line.

 

Yet here he was, doing just that. He had purchased a container of coffee and was giving it away to anyone who need a cup. I asked him why.

Tim said he figured some people would have been standing in line for over an hour and might have missed getting coffee. Or maybe someone might just need a lift. Plus, as an introvert, it gave him an excuse to go up to people and speak to them. An effort to break through his own shyness, combined with a simple, thoughtful gesture to serve other people.

Tim didn’t tell anyone he bought the coffee or why he was doing it. He didn’t turn a spotlight on himself. He focused instead on serving others.

It was a simple gesture that well encapsulated the three tenets of WDS:

Community – Tim was thinking of other attendees waiting in line.

Service – He took action on behalf of them.

Adventure – It’s always an adventure when you sail into the waters of meeting people in unconventional ways, especially as an introvert.

Tim didn’t over complicate a simple process of meeting people and giving a piece of himself in service.

Tim was my hero for the day and provided a lesson in kindness that I’ll remember and emulate. Most of the time I make things more difficult than they have to be and muddle them up in the process.

I like it when my lessons come with a little cream and sugar. Thanks, Tim!

 

Learning to Court Your Monster

This past September, I had the pleasure of joining a couple hundred visionary thinkers and leaders at an event produced by Jonathan and Stephanie Fields and their support crew under the umbrella of their Good Life Project. 

On the last night of the event, a talent show was held with the idea, as I understood it at the time, that it’d be a fun, mindless event with a handful of people doing some songs, silly skits, and maybe a few trivial tricks.

It was anything but.

Barry Solway’s book will delight your heart and soul!

 

For over three hours, people took the stage and opened their souls with raw – and often times very polished – talent. I’ve never experienced an occasion in which an audience was moved from doubled-over laughter to heart-touching tears and back again with such frequency. Or the number of standing ovations genuinely given in response to the shear amazement elicited by so many varied presentations.

One of those who did all three was Barry Solway. Barry tentatively, almost apologetically, read a story he’d written for his niece off his iPhone. Not only did he have folks laughing, but midway through almost everyone was crying. When he finished, folks leapt to their feet with applause and cheers. So great was the response that a team of believers surrounded Barry and helped get his book into print before Christmas.

You can read a post about the event from Jonathan Fields’ blog this week. You can also order either a print or electronic copy of Courtship of the Monster Under the Bed here.

Read it with your child. Read it to your child. Read it for your inner child. You’re welcome.

~ Charles

 

 

 

 

 

 

Creating Space for Gratitude

Creating time and emotional space to be thankful in the midst of a deep struggle — or even a time of emotional darkness — does not seem either intuitive or congruent with the over-riding fear of a particular moment.

However, I’ve come to believe that it is one of the most important and necessary actions we take during the times of discouragement we all, at one point or another, have to face.

And by action, I mean that being thankful, or showing gratitude, is an intentional, active process. 

About three years ago, I was reading a magazine article about a woman who, in preparing for a divorce, had kept a daily log of the things her husband did wrong and the ways that he upset her. It occurred to me in that moment that if she’d instead kept a journal of everything her husband did right, and that she appreciated about him and her life, the story might’ve taken a different turn.

That day, I started a ‘gratitude’ journal where I write down every night as I’m going to bed at least three things that I am grateful for or that I did right that day. It has transformed my thinking.

This year has been the most tumultuous year that I can remember, in both the business and personal aspects of my life. But the process of acknowledging the good things that I’m grateful for each day has helped me go to sleep with a positive frame around each day, minimizing the stress and worry that almost certainly would have kept me from getting the sleep my mind and body needed.

It seems too simple. Too benign to have any significance.

But the daily habit – the process – of reflecting on the people in my life and the gifts that have flowed out of each day’s abundance has made a huge difference in how I approach my life. I find myself looking for what each opportunity offers rather than what it costs. I find myself anticipating good, so that I’ll have something good to write. And that, in itself, is something I’m grateful for.

Charles 

How Are You Waiting?

I’ve spent more time in waiting areas in the past several months than I’ve cumulatively spent in such spaces during the majority of my life up to this point. Most of my waiting time has been in hospitals and medical environments.

What became shockingly clear to me as I looked around was how few people plan and use their waiting time productively, even when they knew their time sitting would span hours or most of a day or more.

While most of those around me were glued to their cell phones as a chief means of distraction, when a phone wasn’t stuck in front of their noses, they watched the ever present TV with a blank stare, mindlessly ate whatever fast food fare was nearby, and/or just stared into space.

I acknowledge my tendency to over-compensate, but I usually take several hours worth of reading, writing, and work projects with me nearly everywhere I go.

While I’m more than a little perplexed as to why others don’t do the same, I’ve also taken these opportunities as fodder for thinking more deeply about how all of us use the waiting or ‘in-between’ spaces in our lives.

If you think about it, much of our life is spent waiting. We’re waiting for a returned email or phone call to come. Waiting for a project to be approved so we can begin work on it. Waiting for kids to be back in school so that routines can be reset again. Waiting for the end of the school year to put the house on the market and move. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

For the last three years, I’ve had to deal with several family matters that have required more patience and waiting than I’ve ever been called upon to endure. Combined with some severe business and financial droughts and a couple of health surprises, this period has pushed my patience button further than I believed I could go.

I believe I have a higher capacity for uncertainty – which is what a lot of waiting entails – than most. But what do we do with that time?

At a point of deep despair and doubt that movement would ever occur again on several fronts, I kept thinking that if I didn’t have these concerns holding me up, I’d have more mental resources available to focus on a list of goals I’d written out. As the loop continued, I thought, “Yea, if I wasn’t having to keep my mind on these particular issues, I’d throw myself into this project, then that one, then that one!” Then the most unsettling thought occurred – “Then why don’t you just do the first one anyway, because it ain’t getting’ done while you’re waiting.”

Ouch.

I had a list of some conferences I wanted to attend, some story projects I wanted to film, and a couple of social events I wanted to initiate. So I finally got to it.

I got on line and registered for three conferences that I wanted to attend – the StoryLine conference in Nashville, SXSW in Austin, and World Domination Summit in Portland – and started making travel arrangements. As I’ve attended these three events over the past year, I’ve had the opportunity to film segments for story projects I wanted to initiate. Two of those projects – the Legacy Project and Fear and Boulders – have five or more interviews already filmed or in production.

In retrospect, I wonder if I would have really set out and committed to each of these goals had it not been for my determination not to waste my time waiting.

I needed to invest myself in goals and objectives that were attainable and not allow myself to get caught up in the malaise or anxiety that often comes when waiting for events outside our control to move the needle forward.

When school starts and the kids are out of the house, your surgery is over and recovery underway, or when the phone rings and the project you’ve been waiting on is approved to start working, what will you have accomplished or lost during that time of uncertainty and fear while you waited? 

Is it possible to make that decision now, while you’ve got the time? While you’re waiting?

Charles 

Backing Up the Big Idea with Hard Work

She looked “rode hard” — and well on the way to being road-hardened — as she slumped into the seat next to mine, another airport meal in tow.

Because of a flight delay, she’d missed her connection and was waiting stand-by to hopefully board the flight from Atlanta to Raleigh-Durham.

Rachel told me that she is on the road 3-5 days each week in sales for a fast-growing technology company. The money is good enough to keep her tied to it, she said, but the glamour of travel is long gone.

Her life for the foreseeable future looks like a long, hellish journey schlepping through airports, traveling to myriad trade shows and presentations, one after another then back again.

As we chatted, I asked what she wanted to do. She said she and her husband were dreaming and hoping for the “big idea” that would rocket them to riches.

I said that most of the obvious big ideas started out as not-so-obvious small ideas and a helluva lotta hard work.

She said half dreamily that if they could just find that one big idea they could be rich and not have to work like that.

Michael Hyatt speaking at the World Domination Summit. Photo by Armosa Studios. #WDS2014

The irony for me was that we were returning from the World Domination Summit in Portland, OR, where we’d just listened to dozens of stories from speakers and attendees alike who’d been in financial places less fortunate than Rachel’s, but who had taken insane ideas and worked their butts off to build their own success in the process.

Each of them was committed to the hard work of bringing focused action to bear on their ideas in addition to dreaming big.

We hear so many “overnight success” stories that lead many people to believe that the secret is simply finding the right idea, buying the appropriate domain, and sitting back while the online sales rack up.

Too few talk about the grinding work, broken relationships, and multiple failures that seem to accompany the overnight miracles. Or when they do, maybe it’s just that very few listen.

A couple of nuggets I’ve picked up that have resonated with my experience through the years:

• Take consistent, ninja-focused action in your work.

• Spend less high-energy time on social media.

• Put people over profits.

• Failure is an integral part of the process of succeeding.

• Be willing to take imperfect action.

But one of my favorite morsels of advice, and quite appropriate to my airport conversation, came from New York Times best-selling author A.J. Jacobs at this year’s World Domination Summit: “It’s easier to act your way into new thinking than it is to think your way into new action.”

But, of course, that’s easier said than done…  

~ Charles