When Linda and I work with clients, we frequently ask as part of our communication strategy: “Who is the community you want to reach, and what are you doing to build connections that will help you best serve that community?”
This weekend, I joined a group of friends – and friendships in the making – to learn how to play well with others (literally!) in bluegrass music jam sessions. In two-and-a-half days of workshops and practice jam sessions, we learned 
how to pick out instrumental solos on the fly and make those instrumental breaks fit into the mix with others. We learned how to find the best key to sing melody lead and harmony in songs, and how to play instrumental intros, fills, and transitions that compliment a singer – not to mention a number of other skills that make the jam session process enjoyable for everyone involved.
But the most important aspect of the experience was NOT the instruction, but the community and connection that was built, and continues out of the time invested with fellow jammers.
The workshops are produced by Leigh and Gilbert Nelson who, along with Leigh’s son Dee and other instructors as needed, do an incredible job. But even more importantly, what they’ve built over several years of facilitating workshops throughout the Southeast is a community of musicians that runs both deep and wide. As I’ve asked seasoned participants why they return to the Nelsons’ camps multiple times each year, they consistently say it’s the connection with both the Nelsons AND the community they’ve created.
One of the key aspects of the success of the jam camps is the “safe-fail” container the Nelsons create. That space allows each person to try out skills they’re struggling with in the company of others exploring the same territory. For example, most people are extremely resistant to singing alone in public, fearing what others will think about them if (or more precisely when!) they sing off-key or stumble through the lyrics. But the environment that the Nelsons create is one that encourages nearly every participant to sing at some point – and often lead others in songs as well – during a workshop. But more importantly, they encourage a confidence that allows people to go out into public jams and sing and lead others there as well.
When I started attending local jam sessions and 
building new friendships within the music community, I did not, at first, realize that many of the folks I was playing with were a part of the Nelsons’ “family” of players. The warmth that was being extended to me was an outgrowth of that community, and I was welcomed in without having to prove myself worthy first. I got to stumble my way through numerous attempts to play breaks or lead songs without public ridicule. Rather, I was encouraged for trying and invited to try again the next time my turn came around the circle.
As Brené Brown writes about throughout her work, we expend so much energy trying to “fit in” with others that we lose the understanding of what it means to fully “belong.” The acceptance of belonging runs so much deeper than the shallowness of merely fitting in, but on the surface they look so much alike.
As you’re building your enterprise, not everyone who comes to you will want to be a part of your community. Some may simply want the service you offer and then go on their way. But, the way to build an impactful business based on contribution – and a significant life, I believe – is to construct it on a foundation of belonging.
When I registered for the Nelsons’ Bluegrass Jam Camp for the first time, I came with the hope of building my skills. But I leave each camp I attend with so much more –a richer life. One that is based on the encouragement to stretch my abilities and fail openly so that I can truly grow without being chided for my stumbling efforts.
What are you doing to build a deeper impact and a sense of belonging for the people you serve?