Charles Gupton

Charles Gupton

Pause for Pregnant Thoughts – 2/3

Last week I posted the first of three summaries from our recent trip to the World Domination Summit (#WDS2015) in Portland OR. I’ve been to numerous conferences but the energy and engagement at WDS is indescribable.

Following is my summary of five more of the presenters I learned from…

WDS2015_JonAcuff_web
“View people as people and NOT a platform.” – Jon Acuff

Jon Acuff (@JonAcuff) on finding your voice:

  • Are you willing to face the fear of today to avoid the regret of forever? Regret has a much longer shelf life than fear.
  • Once you see people as only your platform, eventually you’ll only view them as something to stand on.
  • Trying to get everyone to like you is the quickest way to hate yourself.
  • Your voice is never really lost. It’s just waiting for you to come find it.

Kid President (aka Robbie Novak) (@iamkidpresident) on making the world a better place:

  • Don’t hide your magic!
  • Don’t just share content, share opportunities.
  • Always look for the awesome.

Racheal O’Meara (@romeara1) on the importance of taking ‘pauses’ in your life:

  • Recognize a ‘pause’ as being any intentional shift in your behavior.
  • What three things could you shift to incorporate more quiet reflection into your life? More ‘being’ and less ‘doing’?
WDS2015_MeganDevine_web
Screen capture from Megan Devine

Megan Devine (@refugeingrief) on having patience with others’ pain:

  • When people can’t trust you with their pain and suffering, they can’t fully trust you with their love and joy.
  • Become aware of your impulse to jump in and help solve others’ problems, to try to make things better.
  • Don’t try to ‘fix’ people or their struggles. Instead, learn how to be patient and simply be with them in their pain.

 

Lewis Howes (@LewisHowes) on becoming great:

  • Although most people desire to be great, most of them don’t believe they’re good enough to do so.
  • Men put their primary focus on becoming the “King of Diamonds” (money), when they need to focus more attention on being the “King of Hearts” (emotions).

 

 

Pause for Pregnant Thoughts – 1/3

I am a self-proclaimed knowledge whore. I call myself a ‘know ho’ for short.

I am willing to spread my mind open for almost any idea in an act of consensual learning. I understand it’s risky. My mind could easily become impregnated with new ideas and possibly a whole new way of thinking.

WDS2015_JonFields2_web_2474
Jonathan Fields on “The Art of Becoming Known”

And because ideas impact behaviors, it’s quite likely I’ll start going through life acting differently. I don’t just wait for them to come in the form of books arriving on my doorstep or through the internet. I am, with some frequency, working the people in the aisles or coming off-stage of various conferences looking for their ideas to imbed in my mind. This can cause some people to be quite uncomfortable because I am, in their view, a bit too old to carry on with unknown ideas in such a promiscuous manner.

But alas, for the second year in a row, I have just returned from the World Domination Summit (#WDS2015) in Portland OR where I have laid myself open to the insemination of deep thinking from a number of penetrating thinkers.

Following is the first of three posts with a sample from the many keynote presentations, academies, and meet-up sessions of some of the climactic offerings in my own interpretation:

Sean Ogle (@seanogle) on becoming a location rebel:

  • Uncertainty is the world’s only fear and most people are willing to choose unhappiness over the discomfort of uncertainty.
  • If you don’t know what your goals and desires look like, how are you going to pursue them?
  • If you’re not happy, how are you going to help someone else achieve happiness?
  • How are you going to make the next 10 years look different than the last 10 years?
Jonathan Fields on "The Art of Becoming Known"
Jonathan Fields – “How are you not just different but better?”

Jonathan Fields (@jonathanfields) on the art of becoming known:

  • People are going to label you in some way that makes sense to them because people are pattern recognition machines. Although they will never capture the total embodiment of your being, you can impact what they think of when they think of you by your positioning of what you do in a way that resonates with them.
  • Can you articulate why people should choose you – or your offering – instead of others? How are you not just different, but better?
  • What lights you up more, the process of making things or serving others?

Marsha Shandur (@YesYesMarsha) on the effectiveness of better storytelling.

  • When you tell a strong visual story, you’re creating a mini-movie in your listeners’ heads.
  • Learn to speak in your own voice. If you wouldn’t say something to a friend across the table, don’t say it that way in front of a group.
  • Translate your emotions – the way something makes you feel – rather than the actual facts when you tell a story.
WDS2015_VaniHari_web
Vani Hari – “Don’t focus on the haters!”

Vani Hari (@thefoodbabe) on dealing with obstacles:

  • There is something bigger than you in what you’re doing.
  • If you’re doing anything worthwhile, you’re going to have ‘haters’. Having haters is evidence of having success.

 

Don’t Over-Complicate a Simple Thing

 

It was a simple thing, really.

Buy some coffee and freely offer it to people standing in line for an event. Just say “Good morning,” exchange a few pleasantries, and move up the line.

But it was more than that. But not that much more.

Tim Weston Serving Others
Tim Weston Serving Others

I met Tim Weston as I was waiting to go into the auditorium for the second day of the 2015 World Domination Summit. He was walking up the line of attendees who were queued up, waiting for the doors to open.

Throughout its five-year history, the staff of WDS is legendary for providing unexpected surprises and comforts for those in attendance. But I noticed that Tim was wearing the blue name badge of an attendee and not the orange badge of a volunteer. It was not Tim’s job as a volunteer host to create an exceptional experience for the attendees in line.

 

Yet here he was, doing just that. He had purchased a container of coffee and was giving it away to anyone who need a cup. I asked him why.

Tim said he figured some people would have been standing in line for over an hour and might have missed getting coffee. Or maybe someone might just need a lift. Plus, as an introvert, it gave him an excuse to go up to people and speak to them. An effort to break through his own shyness, combined with a simple, thoughtful gesture to serve other people.

Tim didn’t tell anyone he bought the coffee or why he was doing it. He didn’t turn a spotlight on himself. He focused instead on serving others.

It was a simple gesture that well encapsulated the three tenets of WDS:

Community – Tim was thinking of other attendees waiting in line.

Service – He took action on behalf of them.

Adventure – It’s always an adventure when you sail into the waters of meeting people in unconventional ways, especially as an introvert.

Tim didn’t over complicate a simple process of meeting people and giving a piece of himself in service.

Tim was my hero for the day and provided a lesson in kindness that I’ll remember and emulate. Most of the time I make things more difficult than they have to be and muddle them up in the process.

I like it when my lessons come with a little cream and sugar. Thanks, Tim!

 

Learning to Court Your Monster

This past September, I had the pleasure of joining a couple hundred visionary thinkers and leaders at an event produced by Jonathan and Stephanie Fields and their support crew under the umbrella of their Good Life Project. 

On the last night of the event, a talent show was held with the idea, as I understood it at the time, that it’d be a fun, mindless event with a handful of people doing some songs, silly skits, and maybe a few trivial tricks.

It was anything but.

Barry Solway’s book will delight your heart and soul!

 

For over three hours, people took the stage and opened their souls with raw – and often times very polished – talent. I’ve never experienced an occasion in which an audience was moved from doubled-over laughter to heart-touching tears and back again with such frequency. Or the number of standing ovations genuinely given in response to the shear amazement elicited by so many varied presentations.

One of those who did all three was Barry Solway. Barry tentatively, almost apologetically, read a story he’d written for his niece off his iPhone. Not only did he have folks laughing, but midway through almost everyone was crying. When he finished, folks leapt to their feet with applause and cheers. So great was the response that a team of believers surrounded Barry and helped get his book into print before Christmas.

You can read a post about the event from Jonathan Fields’ blog this week. You can also order either a print or electronic copy of Courtship of the Monster Under the Bed here.

Read it with your child. Read it to your child. Read it for your inner child. You’re welcome.

~ Charles

 

 

 

 

 

 

Creating Space for Gratitude

Creating time and emotional space to be thankful in the midst of a deep struggle — or even a time of emotional darkness — does not seem either intuitive or congruent with the over-riding fear of a particular moment.

However, I’ve come to believe that it is one of the most important and necessary actions we take during the times of discouragement we all, at one point or another, have to face.

And by action, I mean that being thankful, or showing gratitude, is an intentional, active process. 

About three years ago, I was reading a magazine article about a woman who, in preparing for a divorce, had kept a daily log of the things her husband did wrong and the ways that he upset her. It occurred to me in that moment that if she’d instead kept a journal of everything her husband did right, and that she appreciated about him and her life, the story might’ve taken a different turn.

That day, I started a ‘gratitude’ journal where I write down every night as I’m going to bed at least three things that I am grateful for or that I did right that day. It has transformed my thinking.

This year has been the most tumultuous year that I can remember, in both the business and personal aspects of my life. But the process of acknowledging the good things that I’m grateful for each day has helped me go to sleep with a positive frame around each day, minimizing the stress and worry that almost certainly would have kept me from getting the sleep my mind and body needed.

It seems too simple. Too benign to have any significance.

But the daily habit – the process – of reflecting on the people in my life and the gifts that have flowed out of each day’s abundance has made a huge difference in how I approach my life. I find myself looking for what each opportunity offers rather than what it costs. I find myself anticipating good, so that I’ll have something good to write. And that, in itself, is something I’m grateful for.

Charles