Not all happiness is bliss. Or thoughtful. Or purposeful.
A lot of what I see defined as happiness in people is really mindlessness. Although that seems harsh, I’m often envious of the ability of some to go along without the nagging questions of purpose and objectives holding forth with each decision on the journey. These questions add weight and limitations.
But carrying these questions are like packing food and water on a hike into the wilderness. Although they create limitations that weigh you down, they also allow the freedom to go deeper into the unknown with confidence while you explore. Mindless “happies” are less burdened but never appear to know the joy that comes with exploring anything with depth.
What I’m looking for, and increasingly giving myself permission to do, is to not have to pursue every endeavor deeply. To allow myself the giddy pleasure of surfing a subject on the surface for no purpose other than the momentary pleasure. It’s like taking a bite out of every dish or dessert on the pot-luck table with no thought of calories consumed or nourishment received. Just allowing myself the pleasure of taking a bit or two from whatever I fancy with no further commitment to the dish. Or the preparer.
The trouble with mindfulness is that it doesn’t have a switch (that I’ve found). The solution I’m working towards — to be oxymoronic — is to practice being mindfully mindless for short periods of time so that my mind can rest. To simply breathe deep and allow myself to be happy without thinking or purpose. Just simply to be. Happy.
Charles