For the last couple of years, I’ve spent a good bit of time around senior citizens in a variety of situations. Some of those have been work related and some are personal. A lot of the time has been interacting with relatives and a good portion of the time I’ve spent talking with people I’d only met during that encounter.
A common theme I’ve noticed without exception is that the attitudes people have carried throughout their lives only get set more firmly as they get older. I call it “Hardening of the Attitudes.”
If someone has been a bright, hopeful, giving person in their younger years, they seem to be even more so as seniors. When an individual has a critical, fearful, what’s-in-it-for-me view of life, that too becomes more deeply entrenched.
Everyone has aches, pains and a weakened body as they age, but the positive seniors I’m around only talk about the needs of others and how to help them have a better life. My friend Alexine has a way of making everybody she touches feel great. It’s hard to ever catch her because she’s always on the run, visiting with friends who can’t get out or picking them up for errands or to take them for doctors’ or other appointments. You’ll never hear a word about her troubles or concerns.
On several visits to an assisted living home, I met Dick Chapin. Every time I saw him or spoke with him, he was checking on or serving other people’s needs. When I asked him about it, he attributed his love of other people for keeping him active and in good health.
Conversely, there are others who are so negative, I can’t figure out what keeps them alive besides anger. They draw the life out of anyone who comes into their orbit. My sense is this is not a recent phenomena in their lives, either.
The life lesson for me is that, if our attitudes get more set as we age then we’d better work on getting them – like concrete – in the framework we want them to be while they’re still malleable. And the best framework I’ve found is the combination of ideas and the company of people I associate with. When I’m immersed in great books and blogs that are idea driven and when I’m in the midst of people who are others-focused, my optimism, hope and energy level are amazingly high.
I hope to have another 25+ years of productive, energetic work telling stories ahead of me. I never want to retire from serving people. To do that well then, I need to be doing that well, now.
Are you waiting to find your passion and hope? Where do you want to be when you “retire?” Do you believe it’ll be any different than where you are now?
Charles