Do you matter?
It’s a question I’ve been pondering of late as I think about the value we bring to those around us. What makes any one of us matter to other people? The value we have is basically measured in what we do for other people. We are all either adding to or subtracting value from our environment. Either can be positive or negative.
Take social media as an example. Most of what’s added is noise. Most of the posts on Facebook and Twitter could be eliminated and no one would miss them. No one. Subtraction would be a good thing in that case. But adding value by pointing people to thoughtful content instead of thoughtless blather could make a significant difference in our “friends” lives.
In a business environment, most of what matters happens in the context of transaction. If I give you enough of what you want in exchange for what I want (without the elements of mistrust or uncertainty), then we may matter enough to each other to continue to trade so that our wants are consistently met. To matter to each other on a deeper level of relationship, we must meet deeper emotional needs. We must give more than the transaction demands – an investment that goes beyond what our “contract” requires.
Marriage is a good example of a relationship that many people treat as a transaction – “If I do this for you or give you that, what do I get in return?”.
Because most people are not willing to invest any more than the minimum required of them to meet their obligations, they don’t really matter to most of the people around them. They’re not irreplaceable. They have commodity relationships. There is an emptiness in their lives and they know it. They’re just not willing to make the investment of heart to make enough of a difference in order to matter.
Charles