Over the last couple of years, as Linda and I have moved in the direction of creating short films for companies, we’ve encountered a fair amount of underlying fear from business owners who need to be telling their stories. But their fear is holding them hostage.
Fear of trying something new. Fear of uncovering their own story about why they do what they do. Fear of spending money in an uncertain economy. Fear that cripples them from growing and using their abilities to be more productive and profitable.
During the same period, we have been more deeply involved with elder care for several relatives. We’ve seen parallels that are unsettling when people are unwilling to address fear and make necessary adjustments before those changes are no longer as helpful to them.
I have an aunt in Charleston, S.C., who is being placed in a nursing home this week. When her husband, Tony, died twelve years ago, her life virtually stopped. She wanted no changes in her life to occur. When her refrigerator stopped working several years back, she refused to allow it to be replaced because Tony bought it. Her washer and dryer were in an outside storage room that she could barely manage to access but she refused to move them in the house because Tony had put them there when he did the laundry. She wouldn’t allow his pickup truck to be moved from under her carport so that it could shelter her and her car in inclement weather even though she is extremely handicapped.
Knowing that she would become increasingly more disabled,we tried, without success, to get her outside help to prepare her food, clean her house, and take care of her physical needs. Because she’s a hoarder, trash piled up. When cat litter boxes were no longer emptied, feces and urine filled the house. Although Social Services was called several times, we were told there was nothing they or we could do.
When she fell recently, a concerned neighbor called the police, who finally got Social Services involved and got her home condemned. She was placed in the hospital until her placement into the nursing home.
Her greatest fear was to be forced to leave her house. Had she been willing to make the emotionally uncomfortable but incremental changes to maintain her quality of life, she could still be in her home. And in better health. Her “story” of distrusting other people – friends and relatives who love her – exacerbated her fears and paralyzed her life.
My aunt is an extreme case. Reality TV shows feature people like her so that viewers can think, “I may hold on to my particular comforts or fears, but I’m not that bad!”
Maybe not. But the fears that hold you back are not allowing you to grow your life or be of service to people around you. Fear causes you to keep your attention on you.
I work in the business of telling stories for businesses because I believe the stories we tell have the power to launch us forward. I want to uncover and shape stories so that people can reach their potential for helping others (and making a profit). But I’ve come to understand that I can’t help anyone who is unwilling to stop being a pack rat holding on to fear.
Are there fears holding you back today?
Charles