I enjoy being around people who are relaxed and fun to be with. Don’t you?
But similar to the axiom that to have friends you need to be a friend, to be welcome among fun people one needs to be a fun person.
That’s the rub for me. Sometimes I’m a fun person who’s relaxed and genuinely interested in the lives of my friends. But too much of the time I’m not. The difference in my attitude, I’ve noticed, is based on my attention on and awareness of one thing.
The clock.
When my attention is on how much I have to get done or where I have to be with a deadline as my focus then I have little room left for attention anywhere else. That means my ability to center my thoughts on another’s needs or to relax in the moment all but evaporates.
The struggle comes in realizing that one can learn to be efficient with things but not with people. Not if one wants to have effective relationships with them. No one I know wants to know they’re being time-managed. Do you? Very few people have the skills to manage people within the constraints of the clock and not leave them feeling managed. When we’re with our friends or other significant relationships, don’t we want to know that they’re truly “with” us to?
Are you fun to be with? How are you managing your time and relationships with the people you care for?
Charles