Charles Gupton

Writing

Learning to Court Your Monster

This past September, I had the pleasure of joining a couple hundred visionary thinkers and leaders at an event produced by Jonathan and Stephanie Fields and their support crew under the umbrella of their Good Life Project. 

On the last night of the event, a talent show was held with the idea, as I understood it at the time, that it’d be a fun, mindless event with a handful of people doing some songs, silly skits, and maybe a few trivial tricks.

It was anything but.

Barry Solway’s book will delight your heart and soul!

 

For over three hours, people took the stage and opened their souls with raw – and often times very polished – talent. I’ve never experienced an occasion in which an audience was moved from doubled-over laughter to heart-touching tears and back again with such frequency. Or the number of standing ovations genuinely given in response to the shear amazement elicited by so many varied presentations.

One of those who did all three was Barry Solway. Barry tentatively, almost apologetically, read a story he’d written for his niece off his iPhone. Not only did he have folks laughing, but midway through almost everyone was crying. When he finished, folks leapt to their feet with applause and cheers. So great was the response that a team of believers surrounded Barry and helped get his book into print before Christmas.

You can read a post about the event from Jonathan Fields’ blog this week. You can also order either a print or electronic copy of Courtship of the Monster Under the Bed here.

Read it with your child. Read it to your child. Read it for your inner child. You’re welcome.

~ Charles

 

 

 

 

 

 

Honoring the Process of Process

Have you ever been severely constipated, your bowels aching to relieve themselves of the blockage? All you want to do is move along with your day but your intestines won’t cooperate.

Writing is often like that for me.

I’ve just spent the last two hours straining to push words out of my brain into a book project that I’m working on.  And much of what has come out appears to my eye to be crap. But I continue to strain. Why?

I am excruciatingly, slowly teaching myself to honor the process of the process.

Calling myself a writer doesn’t make me a writer. I’m only a writer when I’m writing, not talking about writing. Doing the writing makes me a writer.

I have been a professional photographer for 35 years. But several years ago, in one of the deepest dips of the recession, I realized that I’d not shot one picture in a nearly six-month period. What I had done during that time period was go to networking events, business classes, sales presentation appointments, and anywhere else I could to shake up an opportunity for paid work. But I had not, during that time, picked up a camera.

My attitude sucked and my energy was flagging.

If we are what we do, then I was an unpaid networker. But I was NOT a photographer. I had not honored the process of feeding my heart or keeping my skills sharpened.

I took a week off from all appointments and shot photos. I can’t say they were great images. My vision was rusty and shallow. But the process fed my heart and energized my life.

I realized that I am not an artist and communicator because it’s a glamorous or lucrative way to make a living. I am passionate about telling stories. It is the core of who I am. But to truly be something, I have to do it. It is action that creates results, not talk.

It is the same with writing. It is a process. What I’ve discovered is that the most critical part of developing a process is to honor the process.

What I want, when I sit down to write, is for the words to flow out of me like a tap. If you’ve ever written, you know that’s not how it goes. But I’ve also learned that honoring the process of writing does cause the words to flow. A lot of the process of writing is fighting back the ‘voice’ of doubt and recrimination that whispers ‘Who would ever want to read anything you have to write?’

My job at that moment isn’t to find an answer to justify my time in front of the keyboard. My job at that moment is to write. By trusting the process itself, I eventually fight back the ‘voice’ and get the words out.

I’ve talked with a lot of people who want to write/paint/photograph, etc., but stall when the process becomes painful. Although there are times when creativity does abound, I don’t think it ever becomes entirely pain free.

That’s when the discipline of honoring the process becomes critical to becoming what your heart screams out to be.

How do you respond to the resistance that inevitably inhibits your personal vision from seeing the light?

 

Charles

 

Wanna Change Minds? Create a New Story.

“In your zeal to persuade, you will stifle the voice of the other side. Misusing art to preach, your story will become a thinly discussed sermon as you strive in a single stroke to convert the world. – Robert McKee in “Story.

I believe the raw emotional desire of many people to be a part of something bigger than themselves overshadows their effectiveness in having a significant impact on things that have meaning to them.

The issue of same-sex marriage is one that is already polarizing and will only become more so. An interesting point to me is the number of people I know who don’t have a dog in the fight, per say — they’re in a heterosexual marriage with minimal contact with homosexuals — but see the debate as an issue of justice and have decided to take a stand.

I know equally committed people who believe that the sanctity of one man/one woman is the only foundation of marriage. Their concern is not only for loosening the definition of marriage. Many people believe that increasing tolerance for homosexuality also allows increasing acceptance of multiple-spouse marriages, sexual relationships between adults and children, and bestiality.

As I listen to many people present their reasoning for their point of view, not only do they believe their side is right, but they are so entrenched and immovable that no common ground can be established or tolerated. The image in my mind is from WWI battlefield scenes in which the enemies are dug in for the long fight. The ground between them is a no-man’s land strewn with barbed wire and casualties of battle.

I am strongly opinionated and have jumped into far more fights than I care to remember. Several have been life-altering and broken close friendships which have never healed. Looking back on the battles, a few of my views have not changed much. But the a majority of them have. If I were in politics, you would definitely call me a “flip flopper.” I call it growth. Maturity. Wisdom.

Using story is more effective in changing others' points of view than being more dogmatic about your own.

Time and experience have a way of filing off the sharp points. They may not alter the core make-up of our being, but like water constantly flowing over granite, we smooth out little by little over time.

Intransigence has its value. There are absolutes we should be willing to be bound by.

My issue is not with the inherent truths we believe. My concern is whether I am, and you are, actually making an impact or just making noise. Use your power to create useful electricity, not more static.

Whether two sides are firing mortars or insults, neither is affecting the change they want to see. When each side’s primary dogma is to undermine the enemy’s dogma, very little gets accomplished.

I deeply believe the human heart is called to be out of itself, to a purpose far bigger and more expansive than it can achieve on its own. To reach that purpose, it must develop the capacity to listen.

Blasting someone with your “facts” and your opinion won’t change their views. The only way to affect others’ views is to change the way they see themselves in their larger stories. To do that, you need to understand where they fit in their own story.

You have a decision to make. Do you want to continue with your emotional screed or do you want to be effective, to have an impact on changing the story? You can’t do both.

Charles

Enough Talking Already, Do the Work!

My mind is on the creative process a lot as I move through my day. As an artist, I am constantly battling with where to allocate the time for creative thinking, planning and the execution of my projects.

There are a number of titles that I’ve heard for the small business owner, including owner-operator or solopreneur. The title I’ve given myself is artist-operator because, even though I am an artist first, it’s the process of operations and sales that moves a business forward and gives a hope of being profitable. The corollary is that the operation of a business can easily overwhelm the time and space for creative work to be conceived and brought to life.

I talk with a number of creative people on a regular basis who are, in various ways, waiting for the creative “muse” to arrive and create that space in time for them, or they expect the “muse” to meet them on their journey and inspire them to produce.

I have found that the “muse” doesn’t sit and wait.  Nor does it come to find us. The “muse” must be sought.

Even knowing this, I found myself grumbling recently about a self-directed project that had stalled because I was spending so much time and thought on the operations and sales processes. And then the “muse” spoke. It said, “Shut-up with the talking and come find me.” The moment I started working on the “doing” of the project rather than the “talking” about the work, the muse met me and the project was completed within days.
Julia Cameron, in her book “The Artist’s Way,” talks about the need to show up at the page. Good writing doesn’t get written unless the writer shows up at the page and writes anymore than a structure gets built without the builder showing up and building.

Are you showing up to do your work or waiting for the “muse” to find you and bring the work along?

Charles

Putting My Habit Back On

After nearly two months of waiting to get done what I thought would be completed in two weeks, my new blog site is up and ready for posts. Because I expected the switch to take so little time, I quit posting so that the transfer of old posts would not be more complicated. Well… that didn’t go so smoothly and I fell out of the habit of posting.

Why is it that bad habits are so easy to pick up and even the best of habits, those we claim to hold dear to our hearts, are so easy to drop?

If my understanding is correct, the word “habit” comes from the Latin habitus – to have and is related to inhabitare – to dwell. I like understanding a word in way that makes it visual to me.

So, a “habit” is something I put on or dwell within on a regular basis. For good or bad, our habits are where we live and what others see us wearing as part of how we treat ourselves and them.

Much like daily journaling, I enjoy blogging. If I go a couple of days and haven’t posted, I get irritable and anxious. In much the same way I do when I miss exercise or my concentrated reading time. But I’ve also found that the more I miss doing something I love, the easier it is to keep not doing it. Even if I love it.

So in much the same way I swim for my well-being, I write. Although I love to know that something I post resonates with you, I know that I write for my heart and hope that the connection it may make with you will allow for a conversation that helps us both grow deeper.

So after two months of not living in my blog habit, it feels good to put it back on.

Charles