Charles Gupton

winning

Fake it ‘til You Make…What?

We’ve all done it at some point. Most do it to some degree every day. We act, in front of other people, as if things are going well when we don’t ourselves have the confidence that they are. We’re hoping that we can simply “fake it ‘til we make it.”

Just as there is evidence that smiling when you don’t feel happy will make you happier, there is great evidence that “acting as if” something will happen greatly increases the likelihood of that “something” happening. It truly does help to believe in a vision as a means of making it come true.

Does “faking it” help or hamper your road to success?

I’ve been striving for so long to hit some of my career goals that I no longer know whether I’m “faking” my belief that perseverance will lead to success or whether my belief is really real. And does it really matter?

However, can there be a point at which believing that something will succeed, even in the face of all evidence that it won’t, hampers the ability to move ahead in a new direction, with a new solution, that does have a chance of getting us where we want to be?

That question has infused my mind for the past several days after I had a conversation with a friend this week. She’s been more evasive than normal, wearing an “everything’s great” facade like a smile-on-a-stick. As she started to explain how hectic, but great, everything’s been going, she broke down in tears to say that although her career was taking a turn for the better, her marriage has been crumbling over the past year.

The desire to keep up an appearance of success in her community was critical for her to not be seen as “damaged goods” while looking for a new job. Although I understand, I also wonder how much emotional fuel we burn trying to maintain appearances rather than using that energy to get where we need to be. Who do we want in our community, people who understand the complexity of juggling life’s ups and downs — or those who live to judge?

What is the life that we’re making that makes up for all of our faking?

Charles

Where’s Your Heart?

I think I should watch more tennis on TV. Although I seldom allow myself the time to watch the sport I most enjoy, I’m always charged up afterwards.

I only watched two matches from the recent Wimbledon tournament – the quarterfinals match between Roger Federer and Jo-Wilfred Tsonga and the finals match between Novak Djokovic and Rafael Nadal. In both encounters, not only did the underdog win, but I believe he also stunned the expected winner.

The first reason for the underdog’s success was conditioning, both physical and mental. In the Federer/Tsonga match, Federer won the first two sets (out of the best of five). He went into the match with a 178-0 record against opponents after taking the first two sets. The odds were certainly in his favor and I think he expected Tsonga to know this and give up.

The second reason that the underdogs won was attitude, or heart. Tsonga wouldn’t give up. He ran down every shot and hit amazing returns time and again. He never showed any sign of mental or physical weakness. I believe Federer was caught resting on his accomplishments and expecting his opponent to respectfully give up.

Are you willing to run all out?

In the finals, I saw the same traits in a different order. Djokovic stepped on the court to win and dominated the first two sets. When his focus blurred in the third set, Nadal seized on the lapse and won the set. A visibly shaken Djokovic recovered his mojo in the fourth set to win.

So what?

The reason I care is that I know a number of photographers, designers and myriad business people who were once at the top of their game. Not only were they winning nearly all the business that came their way, but they also captured most of the awards their industry handed out.

Then change happened. Younger players, or possibly new players displaced from another career, entered the game and caused disruptions in the rankings. The established players wanted to coast. They didn’t want to learn new technology or develop better mental, and often physical, conditioning. They wanted their achievements to be respected.

But new players want a piece of the glory. They’re often willing to work harder and smarter. They read blogs, leverage social media and go to more networking opportunities. When it comes to the crunch time, they often show more “heart.” When they do, they often win. Established players often have the attitude that younger players should wait and “pay their dues.” But players – young and old – with heart, play to win.

Where are you in your game? What are you doing to develop your conditioning? And your attitude?

Charles

Going to Play

When I go to play tennis, I go to play tennis. I don’t go to work at it. I want my play to be fun, not a chore or another task to be accomplished. That’s not to say I don’t want to win. However, when I finish, I’d rather have lost an enjoyable match in which I played my best than to win a match in which I didn’t play well or have fun.

There are too many times when I see the desire to win cause players to make poor calls to win the point. Or make very safe shots just to stay in the game.

I want to be challenged by the opponents I’m playing with because I want to steadily improve my game. In fact, I often look at my opponent as my partner in raising my game. I also want to be a good opponent/partner in that regards. One of the best compliments I can receive when I finish a match is to have my opponents say that I made them work for every point they won, that playing with me raises their game to a higher level.

I find the attitude that I choose to play with on the court has an impact on how I play off the court and vice versa. I don’t want my wins to come at the expense of my honesty, my willingness to take risks, or my desire to enjoy the game I’m in.

Charles

Giving Credit Where it’s Due

Americana Couple
Americana Couple

Credit is a funny thing. When someone reaches a high point of success, it seems anyone who may have been in the vicinity of the success wants a piece of it, and a large part of the credit. But often, the person who gets credit for the success at hand is rather parsimonious in sharing the glory with those who helped.

As I’ve looked back over the last couple of years, I need to acknowledge that every success, way-point or goal along the way to a success was made possible by someone else’s help. One recent example is a photo I’ve been wanting to create for over a year.

There is a country store I pass on a regular basis with an American flag painted on the side. Every time I passed it, I knew I wanted to make an image incorporating the flag but nothing seemed to gel in my mind. As I was passing it one night, enough of the elements came together to water the seed in my mind. As a customer was walking from his car to the store, another driver was backing out of a parking space, the headlights of his car illuminating the flag and silhouetting the customer walking by.

Young couple in front of country store.
Young couple in front of country store.

Having an idea is one thing; making an image out of it is yet another. I wrote out my thoughts and called my “go-to” buddy, Avery Clifton. Avery has been working with me on a number of projects this year and has a very good eye for details. I was in over-my-head conditions on a number of projects, but didn’t want to miss the opportunity to capture the image now stuck in my head. There was a particular Americana feel I wanted to capture, so finding the right models, wardrobe and classic truck were essential.

Although Avery had never taken on all of the production responsibilities for a shoot, he jumped into making phone calls and scouting. Within days, he had all the details in place and, with the exception of one rain delay, the shoot went off without a hitch. I absolutely know I could not have pulled off this production without his help.

And this is but one of several occasions where others have opened the door and held it, allowing me to glide through. As I look ahead, I am amazed and humbled at the opportunities to take on several future projects that are already being lined up. Two of the “rainmakers” who have recently been such an encouragement on many fronts are Bill Davis of Team Nimbus in Raleigh and Craig Mathews, the Chief Thinkologist at Big Think, Inc.

The store by day
The store by day

Probably the biggest change in my thinking over the past few years has been from a mind set of “with persistence and determination I can eventually get anything done,” to one of “with the right partners more of the right things can get accomplished and everyone wins!” It’s a seismic shift that’s still shaking my world.

So, what collaborations are out there waiting for you follow up on? Who do you owe credit to for helping accomplish your goals? How can you help others accomplish theirs?

Charles

Are You Playing to Win?

What I appreciate about athletics – tennis in particular – is that sheer persistence, just keeping the ball in play, can often win the point and eventually the match. But there are times as well when one just needs to put the ball away. ‘Cause if you don’t, your opponent is going to. Trouble is knowing when to play it safe and when to go for a riskier, winning shot.

I decided some time back that I was going to play every shot that I could, as aggressively as I could. Even when I couldn’t get a clear winner out of a shot, I was going to try to set up a play so that the next shot could be. But my problem is that I lose a lot of points on very close shots. The upside is that when I win the point, I feel even better knowing that I wasn’t playing safe. Whether I win or lose the match, I go home with the knowledge that I played my heart out.

What’s required most days in my work, though, is persistence. Keeping at the tasks of the day – keeping the ball in play, as it were – is what keeps my day in motion rather than slamming one or two big projects or goals and feeling like I’ve scored a winner. What troubles me about a persistence mindset, however, is that it can draw me into a play-it-safe attitude, and I know after many years in business that playing it safe is one of the biggest risks one can take.

Playing it safe virtually eliminates exploration, which shuts down creativity. You can’t create without trying new things, which is what exploration is all about. And in this economy, when so many people are playing it safe on every front, what better way to set yourself apart in business, and in all of life for that matter, than being creative, attempting the unexpected? In other words, going for a winner, which is what taking risks is all about.

So how about you? Can you afford the risk of not taking risks? Are you playing to win or to just keep from losing?

Charles Gupton

http://www.charlesguptonphoto.com

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