Charles Gupton

Social media

Sifting for Gold

I don’t come to social media looking for emotional uplift. If I’m not already “up,” I generally don’t get on the Internet at all. Most of what I scan seems to run the gamut from saccharin to cynical.

I’ve started unsubscribing from those who mainly spout their angry political screeds, but I’ve found that a lot of the positive messaging gets annoying as well because so much of it is canned rather than personal reflection.

My approach to social media is akin to panning for gold — I know I’m gonna sift a lot of silt to find my flakes of gold. But when I find it, it sparkles.

My Facebook friend Ariel had a post recently that sparkled with thoughtful reflection. The start of her list for “doing life well” is “challenging and reforming one’s beliefs,” the pursuit of which can be very rewarding, I believe. The challenge is to do a little bit of it every day.

We live our lives not just as individuals but also as a reflection of those with whom we associate and the times we live in. And we are not living in times of great self-reflection. Although there are countless ways to seek self-help from “experts,” even that phenomenon is indicative of the lack of discipline to look inward. More often than not, the values I hear most people espouse are those they’ve gathered from the media and their friends. It’s group-think at best.

The gold flakes of self-cultivation and thought that I encounter are truly an encouragement. They cause me to stop in the moment and reflect, “Are the  tasks that I’m engaged in at this time a reflection of the values I espouse or am I working at achieving someone else’s?”

Charles

Judging Others by a Better Standard

I have a business colleague who judges everyone else according to his own strengths. When people don’t measure up to his standard of strengths, they are dismissed as inadequate and unworthy of his business respect. Since his particular strengths are in the area of technology, I often fall short, in his view,  of being the full measure of the man I should be.

After feeling the sting of this judgment a few times, I found myself getting fairly irritated in his company on every occasion. I found myself going into each encounter with a ready quip or two prepared to put him on the defensive by pointing out some of the shortcomings he might be overlooking. However, in a moment of clarity I realized, I am him; I have been that kind of person too. And is my heart of hearts, I still am.

I my heart, I have harshly judged people for how they choose to eat, spend their money, and spend their time. On many of those occasions, I have made comments that reflected my judgments in a way that stressed the relationship. Enough of those stress fractures and the relationship will be damaged beyond repair.

I’m not saying that we should not exercise our judgment – there’s far too little good judgment being used. What I am suggesting is that we decide how our particular insights can be of value rather than be demeaning.

I don’t believe that because I’ve not utilized technology to push my LinkedIn connections to 500+ makes me an unthoughtful person. Or that my phone, laptop and desktop are not perfectly synced with identical folders and using automatic smart-mailbox routing so that I have every contact’s complete information at my fingertips at all times is the strongest indication that I don’t care about other people.

I desperately need to make improvements in all areas of life involving technology. I have a lot of improvements to make in other areas as well. What I need is guidance. And encouragement. And support.

But derision causes defensiveness to rise up. Emotional barriers get built. Connection is lost, perhaps permanently.

Again, discernment is a very good and important quality to possess. What is even more important though is the end to which it’s used.

When we discover a weakness in a colleague or friend, do we merely point it out or possibly exploit it? Or do we use the knowledge as a means of building a bridge or a connection? As a means of building that person up?

By being more supportive of others growth, is it possible that we might become more open to others supporting our growth as well?

Charles

Keeping an Ear to the Pulse

I just read a great example of using social media for marketing in a constructive and relevant way. In this Adweek.com story, the developers of Bacon Salt – a spice that makes everything taste like bacon – explainadweek1 how they used social media platforms to generate buzz before a product was even ready to sell. But the take-away message for me was not so much that they generated buzz, but how they handled it.

In her book “Marketing to Women,” Marti Barletta emphasizes that when marketers speak to the needs of women, the bar is raised for men as well. And although women are generally willing to express it more than men, what is one of the most important needs all people have? To be listened to, to be heard. Apparently Justin Esch and Dave Lefkow have learned and responded to that need and succeeded through the process. Like all relationships, time committed and genuine interest are more important than money spent trying for a quick result. Having a product that generates good buzz doesn’t hurt. But the key to growth is handling that buzz in a thoughtful manner.

Could it be that financially tight times could lead to better service and listening to buyers needs?

Charles Gupton
http://www.charlesguptonphoto.com