Portraits

Hardening of the Attitudes

For the last couple of years, I’ve spent a good bit of time around senior citizens in a variety of situations. Some of those have been work related and some are personal. A lot of the time has been interacting with relatives and a good portion of the time I’ve spent talking with people I’d only met during that encounter.

A common theme I’ve noticed without exception is that the attitudes people have carried throughout their lives only get set more firmly as they get older. I call it “Hardening of the Attitudes.”

If someone has been a bright, hopeful, giving person in their younger years, they seem to be even more so as seniors. When an individual has a critical, fearful, what’s-in-it-for-me view of life, that too becomes more deeply entrenched.

Everyone has aches, pains and a weakened body as they age, but the positive seniors I’m around only talk about the needs of others and how to help them have a better life. My friend Alexine has a way of making everybody she touches feel great. It’s hard to ever catch her because she’s always on the run, visiting with friends who can’t get out or picking them up for errands or to take them for doctors’ or other appointments. You’ll never hear a word about her troubles or concerns.

On several visits to an assisted living home, I met Dick Chapin. Every time I saw him or spoke with him, he was checking on or serving other people’s needs. When I asked him about it, he attributed his love of other people for keeping him active and in good health.

Conversely, there are others who are so negative, I can’t figure out what keeps them alive besides anger. They draw the life out of anyone who comes into their orbit. My sense is this is not a recent phenomena in their lives, either.

The life lesson for me is that, if our attitudes get more set as we age then we’d better work on getting them – like concrete – in the framework we want them to be while they’re still malleable. And the best framework I’ve found is the combination of ideas and the company of people I associate with. When I’m immersed in great books and blogs that are idea driven and when I’m in the midst of people who are others-focused, my optimism, hope and energy level are amazingly high.

I hope to have another 25+ years of productive, energetic work telling stories ahead of me. I never want to retire from serving people. To do that well then, I need to be doing that well, now.

Are you waiting to find your passion and hope? Where do you want to be when you “retire?” Do you believe it’ll be any different than where you are now?

Charles

Giving Credit Where it’s Due

Credit is a funny thing. When someone reaches a high point of success, it seems anyone who may have been in the vicinity of the success wants a piece of it, and a large part of the credit. But often, the person who gets credit for the success at hand is rather parsimonious in sharing the glory with those who helped.

As I’ve looked back over the last couple of years, I need to acknowledge that every success, way-point or goal along the way to a success was made possible by someone else’s help. One recent example is a photo I’ve been wanting to create for over a year.

There is a country store I pass on a regular basis with an American flag painted on the side. Every time I passed it, I knew I wanted to make an image incorporating the flag but nothing seemed to gel in my mind. As I was passing it one night, enough of the elements came together to water the seed in my mind. As a customer was walking from his car to the store, another driver was backing out of a parking space, the headlights of his car illuminating the flag and silhouetting the customer walking by.

Having an idea is one thing; making an image out of it is yet another. I wrote out my thoughts and called my “go-to” buddy, Avery Clifton. Avery has been working with me on a number of projects this year and has a very good eye for details. I was in over-my-head conditions on a number of projects, but didn’t want to miss the opportunity to capture the image now stuck in my head. There was a particular Americana feel I wanted to capture, so finding the right models, wardrobe and classic truck were essential.

Although Avery had never taken on all of the production responsibilities for a shoot, he jumped into making phone calls and scouting. Within days, he had all the details in place and, with the exception of one rain delay, the shoot went off without a hitch. I absolutely know I could not have pulled off this production without his help.

And this is but one of several occasions where others have opened the door and held it, allowing me to glide through. As I look ahead, I am amazed and humbled at the opportunities to take on several future projects that are already being lined up. Two of the “rainmakers” who have recently been such an encouragement on many fronts are Bill Davis of Team Nimbus in Raleigh and Craig Mathews, the Chief Thinkologist at Big Think, Inc.

Probably the biggest change in my thinking over the past few years has been from a mind set of “with persistence and determination I can eventually get anything done,” to one of “with the right partners more of the right things can get accomplished and everyone wins!” It’s a seismic shift that’s still shaking my world.

So, what collaborations are out there waiting for you follow up on? Who do you owe credit to for helping accomplish your goals? How can you help others accomplish theirs?

Charles

Supporting Local Farms – MAE Farm

MAE Farm is the third in a series of local farms I’m profiling for a project I’m working on to promote support of local farms. The project involves photographing, producing video and recording interviews with several farms about why they farm, who their customer base is and, most importantly, how they stay sustainable. I want to encourage folks to buy locally but also to know and have a relationship with farms in one’s area.

Mike and Suzanne Jones started farming because of their desire to raise their children on the land with meaningful work to do. Their primary emphasis is on producing sustainably raised meats, primarily pork. They also raise goats and cattle for meat as well as chickens for eggs. In addition to selling fresh pork, they have also started producing their own barbecue for sale. The pork is all hand-pulled with no soy or other fillers added. You can buy from them directly or at the State Farmers Market in Raleigh.

More to come…

Charles Gupton

http://www.charlesguptonphoto.com

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Not Without Hope – Greg Ferguson

I met Greg through my involvement with Toast Masters, an organization committed to helping people build their confidence in giving presentations and public speaking. Greg has been engaged in public speaking for over twenty years and has recently published a book sharing his knowledge gained on the subject.

Greg always has a positive, focused approach to everything he does. So, as the economy slowed, he turned his attention to reaching another one of his personal goals so that time and energy wouldn’t be lost or misguided. As I’ve gotten to know him, I’ve been encouraged by the manner in which he uses his abilities to help others in the community serving as an advisor in the civic and business arenas.

I trust you’ll be encouraged by his story as well.

Charles Gupton

http://www.charlesguptonphoto.com

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Greg Ferguson leading a ToastMasters meeting.

Every adversity carries with it the seeds of an equal or greater opportunity.

I am in the residential development business, and as I write this, our local construction output has dropped 75% from its peak before the national economic meltdown. As a result, our projects have generally been on hold for the last six months.

During this time, it has been nearly impossible to do business the way I have done it for the past twelve years. There are few buyers and there is virtually no money available through the traditional channels. We have had to resort to coming up with different assumptions and different actions to be able to move forward. This takes time and it takes skill in convincing others that there will be a fundamental change in the way we do business in the future.

This downtime in activity has allowed me to re-examine my personal goals and to get focused on them again. My “chief aim” in life, as Napoleon Hill calls it, is to help others help themselves. One of my goals has been to write books to help others. I am glad to report that my reduced business activity for the last six months has given me the time to write my first book on public speaking. It’s called “How to Give Your Best Speech or Presentation Ever.”

My second book has just gone into the proofing stage and should be available shortly, and I’ve already begun the research for my third book. Once I broke through all the reasons for not beginning to write sooner, it has become easier and easier to keep my momentum going. Writing is much like public speaking—the more you do it, the easier it gets.

I expect that real estate development will pick up again in the foreseeable future. This slowdown has been painful, frustrating, and downright scary. But in the long run, I believe I will look back on this gap in activity (and income) as a blessing that allowed me to fulfill one of my long time personal goals.

If you are finding your circumstances different than they were a year ago, I encourage you to examine your purpose in life. Recognize this time of challenge as a blessing, and recognize that it carries with it the seeds of opportunity. ~ Greg Ferguson

Supporting Local Farms – Edible Earthscapes

Edible Earthscapes farm is the second in a series of local farms I’m profiling for a project I’m working on to promote support of local farms. The project involves photographing, producing video and recording interviews with several farms about why they farm, who their customer base is and, most importantly, how they stay sustainable. I want to encourage folks to buy locally but also to know and have a relationship with farms in one’s area.

Jason and Haruka Otis are also featured in the October issue of Our State magazine in a story titled “Autumn Harvest: Breaking New Ground on North Carolina Farms”. You can connect with Edible Earthscapes at their site: http://edibleearthscape.wordpress.com.

More to come…

Charles

http://www.charlesguptonphoto.com

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