Alexine Hoyle
For the last couple of years, I’ve spent a good bit of time around senior citizens in a variety of situations. Some of those have been work related and some are personal. A lot of the time has been interacting with relatives and a good portion of the time I’ve spent talking with people I’d only met during that encounter.
A common theme I’ve noticed without exception is that the attitudes people have carried throughout their lives only get set more firmly as they get older. I call it “Hardening of the Attitudes.”
If someone has been a bright, hopeful, giving person in their younger years, they seem to be even more so as seniors. When an individual has a critical, fearful, what’s-in-it-for-me view of life, that too becomes more deeply entrenched.
Everyone has aches, pains and a weakened body as they age, but the positive seniors I’m around only talk about the needs of others and how to help them have a better life. My friend Alexine has a way of making everybody she touches feel great. It’s hard to ever catch her because she’s always on the run, visiting with friends who can’t get out or picking them up for errands or to take them for doctors’ or other appointments. You’ll never hear a word about her troubles or concerns.
On several visits to an assisted living home, I met Dick Chapin. Every time I saw him or spoke with him, he was checking on or serving other people’s needs. When I asked him about it, he attributed his love of other people for keeping him active and in good health.
Conversely, there are others who are so negative, I can’t figure out what keeps them alive besides anger. They draw the life out of anyone who comes into their orbit. My sense is this is not a recent phenomena in their lives, either.
Dick Chapin
The life lesson for me is that, if our attitudes get more set as we age then we’d better work on getting them – like concrete – in the framework we want them to be while they’re still malleable. And the best framework I’ve found is the combination of ideas and the company of people I associate with. When I’m immersed in great books and blogs that are idea driven and when I’m in the midst of people who are others-focused, my optimism, hope and energy level are amazingly high.
I hope to have another 25+ years of productive, energetic work telling stories ahead of me. I never want to retire from serving people. To do that well then, I need to be doing that well, now.
Are you waiting to find your passion and hope? Where do you want to be when you “retire?” Do you believe it’ll be any different than where you are now?
Charles
Tagged as:
Aging,
Attitude,
Happy,
Portraits
As a kid, I liked silly songs. Not much has changed really. But when I first heard Roger Miller’s songs, I was hooked. One of my favorites was, “You Can’t Rollerskate in a Buffalo Herd.” As silly as the lyrics may be, the last line of each verse and the chorus are something I have to remember every day. Especially these days, when the news at every turn is less than encouraging for most. The lines are, “…you can be happy if you’ve a mind to. All you gotta do, is put your mind to it. Knuckle down, buckle down, do it, do it, do it.” (The full version follows for your amusement below.)
I find that I don’t so much make myself happy as I decide to do a series of tasks that allow me, by taking action, to feel good in the doing. Of course, it’s easy to confuse activity with accomplishment. But I try to make sure that in my list of “to be done today” are only items which take me toward the goals I set for serving my clients and moving my life in a direction that is positive. I seldom watch TV and although I read two papers most days, I try to focus my attention on stories that feed me useful information I can act upon. Worrying about matters that are outside of my circle of influence is pointless.
Some of the things I might do which take me towards my objectives each day include: reading from several good books over my morning cup of coffee before I go to my desk; reading from several good blogs (such as Seth Godin’s) before I even check e-mail; or send an interesting link to a client and/or send a postcard to a prospective client whose work I admire. These are all things I can control. These are all things I must put my mind to. But they’re not that hard to “knuckle down, buckle down to do it, do it, do it.” And I find I’m a lot closer to being happy than if I’d listened to the prophets of doom.
How do you keep yourself happy?
Charles
www.charlesguptonphoto.com
YOU CAN’T ROLLERSKATE IN A BUFFALO HERD
Roger Miller
You can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd
You can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd
You can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd
But you can be happy if you’ve a mind to
You can’t take a shower in a parakeet cage
You can’t take a shower in a parakeet cage
You can’t take a shower in a parakeet cage
But you can be happy if you’ve a mind to
All you gotta do, is put your mind to it
Knuckle down, buckle down, do it, do it, do it
Well you can’t go swimmin’ in a baseball pool
You can’t go swimmin’ in a baseball pool
You can’t go swimmin’ in a baseball pool
But you can be happy if you’ve a mind to
You can’t change film with a kid on your back (chain-swim)
You can’t change film with a kid on your back
You can’t change film with a kid on your back
But you can be happy if you’ve a mind to
You can’t drive around with a tiger in your car
You can’t drive around with a tiger in your car
You can’t drive around with a tiger in your car
But you can be happy if you’ve a mind to
All you gotta do, is put your mind to it
Knuckle down, buckle down, do it, do it, do it
Well you can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd
You can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd
You can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd
But you can be happy if you’ve a mind to
You can’t go fishin’ in a watermelon patch
You can’t go fishin’ in a watermelon patch
You can’t go fishin’ in a watermelon patch
But you can be happy if you’ve a mind to
Tagged as:
Attitude,
Happy,
Roger Miller,
Seth Godin
