Charles Gupton

Archives for May 2012

How Happy is Your Story?

The starting point for happiness is a decision. Abe Lincoln is quoted as saying, “A man is about as happy as he makes up his mind to be.”

When I catch myself dwelling on situations in our lives that are stressful — situations that I can do very little, if anything, about — my attitude and spirit tend to plummet. That’s not surprising. What is surprising, if not alarming, is that I understand that I am making the choice to dwell on something that is outside of my control. As a result, I’m making the choice to allow my spirit to flag. These are not outside influences. It is internal, In my own mind.

I know through established research and my own experience that choosing to focus on situations that are within my influence, if not my control, is a path of far more contentment.

So much of our story, both personal and business, is shaped by the stories we create in our minds. When the stories are stressful, our lives appear to us as spinning out of control. When we focus on situations that are in our influence and take the necessary actions to affect them, I find that we are far more content and happy.

The decision has been to either allow the loop of fear to run or to stop it and start playing the loop of possibility and hope. Either way, I’m about as happy as I’ve decided I want to be.

And you?

Charles

Corporate Policies are People Stories

Over my 30 years of shooting photographs for corporate and editorial clients, I’ve encountered numerous policies established by companies to regulate how their buyers interact with their suppliers. The policies cover the usual areas including payment, usage, rights and delivery. I even had a recent client who had a company policy against — against, mind you! — giving recommendations or referrals for their suppliers. Talk about a policy that works against building trusting relationships. And this from a company that emphasizes its commitment to building relationships!

For a long time, I simmered with anger over the various boilerplate policies companies threw at me, even accepting for a time that they weren’t personal. It was, after all, just business. Often I’ve heard the establishment of said policies being blamed on “butt-puckered lawyers,” “the suits,” or “the bean counters.” The admonition to not take it personally was delivered in a tone intended to convince everyone to just accept such policies as “industry standards” that could be neither questioned nor changed.

But, over time, I grew to understand that all policies are personal and therefore have the possibility of being changed. Policies are personal because they are established or initiated by a person. Even if a large governmental body or a board of directors agrees to a certain policy, one person was instrumental in advancing the idea for a particularly personal reason. That reason is usually based on a fear of loss or the scarcity of some important resource, usually money.

I’ve found that through a personal relationship or a sympathetic client, an established policy can often be modified or have an exception made. For example, a 60-day payment policy can be shortened by having someone willing to walk an invoice through accounting.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned about policies and the people who present them is that they are, like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, parts of a bigger picture or story of the people who make up a company.

People who treat other people, including their suppliers, like replaceable commodities are very likely being treated like a replaceable commodity by their own company. Like a bully who’s being bullied at home, people usually treat others the way they feel like they are being treated.

Corporate policies are, at their roots, stories of the people who created and enforce them. The only way to modify a policy is to change the story that surrounds it.

Charles

A Happiness Built on Joy

I work under the illusion every day that I can accomplish more than I can. One benefit is that I actually get a fair number of things done over time. A downside is that I’m seldom satisfied with what I did get done, often focusing my discontent on the remaining items from the list which didn’t get completed. But hope frequently deceives me into believing that the next day will be different than all those that have come before.

Although constant driving and striving lead to many tasks getting done, the overall tenor of the journey is seldom happiness. I wrote one morning a few months back that I want my life to be one of “chronic joy” with bouts of “acute happiness.”

That simple revelation has caused me to focus on my consistent state of mind and question how the activities and people I engage with affect my state of mind during and after my involvement with them. Is my mindset one of joyful abundance or fear and security?

The difference between joy and happiness is that I see joy as being about my state of mind while happiness tends to be affected by the circumstances I’m in or believe I’m in.

Happiness is built on a foundation of joy. Not the other way around. I can be joyful even when I’m not pleased with the circumstances that surround me. But I can never be happy with my circumstances when my heart and mind are focused on scarcity.

The interesting revelation for me is that my joy is more constant or “chronic” when I allow myself time in each day for the abundance which comes from overall balance in my day. Joy doesn’t come from how many items got checked off my list but whether the overall approach was balanced with healthy, important activities. A mindful approach to quality vs. quantity of things done.

Charles

Wanna Change Minds? Create a New Story.

“In your zeal to persuade, you will stifle the voice of the other side. Misusing art to preach, your story will become a thinly discussed sermon as you strive in a single stroke to convert the world. – Robert McKee in “Story.

I believe the raw emotional desire of many people to be a part of something bigger than themselves overshadows their effectiveness in having a significant impact on things that have meaning to them.

The issue of same-sex marriage is one that is already polarizing and will only become more so. An interesting point to me is the number of people I know who don’t have a dog in the fight, per say — they’re in a heterosexual marriage with minimal contact with homosexuals — but see the debate as an issue of justice and have decided to take a stand.

I know equally committed people who believe that the sanctity of one man/one woman is the only foundation of marriage. Their concern is not only for loosening the definition of marriage. Many people believe that increasing tolerance for homosexuality also allows increasing acceptance of multiple-spouse marriages, sexual relationships between adults and children, and bestiality.

As I listen to many people present their reasoning for their point of view, not only do they believe their side is right, but they are so entrenched and immovable that no common ground can be established or tolerated. The image in my mind is from WWI battlefield scenes in which the enemies are dug in for the long fight. The ground between them is a no-man’s land strewn with barbed wire and casualties of battle.

I am strongly opinionated and have jumped into far more fights than I care to remember. Several have been life-altering and broken close friendships which have never healed. Looking back on the battles, a few of my views have not changed much. But the a majority of them have. If I were in politics, you would definitely call me a “flip flopper.” I call it growth. Maturity. Wisdom.

Using story is more effective in changing others' points of view than being more dogmatic about your own.

Time and experience have a way of filing off the sharp points. They may not alter the core make-up of our being, but like water constantly flowing over granite, we smooth out little by little over time.

Intransigence has its value. There are absolutes we should be willing to be bound by.

My issue is not with the inherent truths we believe. My concern is whether I am, and you are, actually making an impact or just making noise. Use your power to create useful electricity, not more static.

Whether two sides are firing mortars or insults, neither is affecting the change they want to see. When each side’s primary dogma is to undermine the enemy’s dogma, very little gets accomplished.

I deeply believe the human heart is called to be out of itself, to a purpose far bigger and more expansive than it can achieve on its own. To reach that purpose, it must develop the capacity to listen.

Blasting someone with your “facts” and your opinion won’t change their views. The only way to affect others’ views is to change the way they see themselves in their larger stories. To do that, you need to understand where they fit in their own story.

You have a decision to make. Do you want to continue with your emotional screed or do you want to be effective, to have an impact on changing the story? You can’t do both.

Charles

Transparency in Story

For most of my career, I’ve focused most of my attention on telling the stories, through photographs, that my clients have asked me to tell. Whether it was a concept for an ad or portrait of a CEO, I took the message that was being presented and tried to translate it visually to accompany the text that surrounded it.

While that was certainly a valid — and for years, profitable — approach, I believe the culture of transparency we work in is requiring a different approach. It seems that everywhere I turn, I see the word “authentic” being used. It’s as if using the word in communications makes the communication itself more “authentic.”

Increasingly, after hearing the message my clients want to project, I’m asking about the message their clients already own about them. After all, branding is not the message we’re broadcasting, but the message that others already share about us. Authenticity comes from the perception people have, not from the perceptions we tell them to have.

What does surprise me is how unaware most people are of how they personally and their businesses are perceived by others. Awareness of self and others is what leads to authenticity. Lack of awareness of what is truly is a denial of reality.

The place I’m trying to lead my clients to — and the place I always want to be as well — is one of authentic transparency. From there, we spend less time and fewer resources convincing people of what we want them to believe and more of our energy creating the value those people want to experience.

What do you think?

Charles